When our son was born, we always talked about how his recovery was literally 1 step forward 2 steps back… Adoption always feels that way.
Adoption is such a great experience, but it’s also one of my worst experiences. I’m always saying how there are so many children in Canada that are eligible for adoption, but you ask why? There are approximately 30,000 children in care that are legally free and eligible for adoption in Canada.
The actual process for adoption needs a serious tune up. I have written to our local Federal Government numerous times about making a change for the better. I personally feel that timelines for children in care need to established and put in place to make the process smoother.
Our situation, we had two possible birth fathers and both knew about it. Here is a child, sitting in limbo waiting for A) having a birth family member step up or B) the birth family signs off their parental rights. This is a very long process. If Children’s Aid can’t get a hold of all the possible birth family connections, they basically have to wait it out to get the final go ahead for adoption. In our case, the birth father knew about his possible child and decided for whatever reason to step forward when she was 8 months old! I was furious and obviously upset. If a birth parent didn’t know about the child that is one thing, but when they’ve known the whole time, is another issue. It’s not fair to anyone involved.
This is why I feel that the Government needs to step in and make established timelines to speed up the process towards adoption.
This picture is exactly why timelines need to be in place legally. 1008 days in foster care before they were adopted. That’s almost 3 years, which is average. That is possibly 2 years of these children being driven back and forth to see their birth families 3 to 4 times a week.
I don’t really like talking about finances, but it costs the tax payers a lot of money when children are in care. The Government pays their living costs to the foster family, extra money for special occasions like birthdays and Christmas. (it’s not enough, trust me) They always have to pay mileage to the drivers or foster families to take these kids to their birth families 3-4 times a week.
A solution that I suggested to my local MP was to hire more court staff to have the cases happen more often throughout the year. If there were more staff members, more cases could get closed, whether the child goes back to the birth family or is adopted. The more money the Government spends to speed up the courts, the less money they have to spend for children in care. I obviously know that when it comes to a child’s life, it shouldn’t be about money. But when it comes to the Government, bottom line, it’s always about money.
I would like to see the process of adoption speed up, as I feel that this will get children in a secure setting and to help give these families stability, whether it’s the birth or adoptive families. I truly think we would see less children in care, and that would be amazing. More people would consider adoption.
The actual process of adoption is one of the main reasons why people don’t adopt. It takes too long, and you are asking someone to take a chance on grieving a potential loss.